Chemo

Today heading back in for another 5-6 hour round of chemo. Here is to killing active Lupus.

Last night I was not sure if today was going to happen, got real sick and just felt like death. Thankful for the meds that I was prescribed for nausea due to chemo as they were strong enough to kick the sick it appears.

I really have such a hatred for me and what I have allowed to happen. I am not happy at this weight, and before anybody says just do some walking and eat better, I suggest you walk a mile with me and see what this degree of lupus is like.

As much as I don't want to swim I think I will end up being a swimmer maybe more than other things. What I really want is to be able to run, ski and bike Arrowhead 135. run the entire length of Superior Hiking trail, run the sustina 100 and maybe even run the Iditarod Invitational. I have taken Badwater off of my list as the thought of 135 miles on a road no longer appeals to me. I want an overly active life and I am so pissed that it seems I can not have it.