Not sure if I am really down this 2 lbs or if it is a dehydration thing as I was not down all week even though i had a good week of workouts and diet. But last night was my Methotrexate night and really made me sick so I am thinking that by Monday when I am recovered I will most likely be back up probably at least a lb of it.
Boy last night I just wanted to throw in the towel and say Fuck it, it is not worth it , I can't fight against a body that is not willing any longer.
I was so sore and beaten down last night it hurt to blink and do any other, even sitting still my joints were on fire. I was so close to mixing a cocktail and prdering a pizza and saying, I can find a way to be happy with this... I do not need to run races, I can just crew people and be part of them that way.
Then I told myself to shut the fuck up and stop whining like a little bitch. drank water for the evening and said just get through the night.
Well here I am today with a some what renewed spirit and ready to tackle life again. I am not grateful for this disease it does not make me a stronger person. But I have it so guess what I have to deal with it and move on.
So there you have it I lost the 2 lbs that I had gained back. from oktoberfesting, still a loss and on track of -2 lbs a week with little to no exercise at all. I did manage one nice bluff hike on Sunday with our younger dog Cooper approx three miles. it was a great hike.
Then Wednesday I managed a really nice 4 mile run and bluff climb with my friend Deb who also has Lupus. three days of weights and core work. I need to maybe add a 4th day of core and hip flexors, having a lot of pain in those areas, that I think are a muscle/skeletal problem. also coming from a vertebrae problem (slightly bulged) so continuing with core will only have rewards in the long run and I need to remember that.
Really focusing on clean whole food from as local farm as possible.