Boy last night I just wanted to throw in the towel and say Fuck it, it is not worth it , I can't fight against a body that is not willing any longer.
I was so sore and beaten down last night it hurt to blink and do any other, even sitting still my joints were on fire. I was so close to mixing a cocktail and prdering a pizza and saying, I can find a way to be happy with this... I do not need to run races, I can just crew people and be part of them that way.
Then I told myself to shut the fuck up and stop whining like a little bitch. drank water for the evening and said just get through the night.
Well here I am today with a some what renewed spirit and ready to tackle life again. I am not grateful for this disease it does not make me a stronger person. But I have it so guess what I have to deal with it and move on.
I've been there - for some reason, things are always worse at night (probably fewer distractions). Yesterday I felt good enough to go for a run; one mile and suddenly it felt like I was drowning. Still, it was more than zero.
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