I have a lot of stuff that needs to be done at my house (outside work), I am not able to do this stuff right now and quite honestly this house needs to go. It is too big and requires to much maintenence. The dilemma comes in this form.
I can no longer do this work myself, (even though I do not look fucking sick) and currently I can not afford it to be done; my choices are meds or house work. THe double edge sword comes from we both agree we need to sell the house and fins something smaller, less maintenance etc.. and can always go larger again... or stay small and travel once my health gets turned around. BUT, can not sell the house in this condition. I could use about6-8 days of good old fashion Ger er done woek, but I don't have the ability to knock out 30 minute sessions any more with out repercussion/. did I mention I am no good at asking for this or even accepting favors... these are favors I feel I can not repay. : ( So Fucking Sad. I know that this blog has mostly female followers so you will probably not understand the male side of this. THat was even brought up at my last Dr.s visit that males suffer worse depression than women with Lupus. any way that is my ramblings for tonight. I think. If I try to do this work I will fail, I know it. FUCK LUPUS
Like the housework thing for woman, alot of a mans self-worth is tied up in being able to provide for his family and do all the "man jobs". It's very hard to disentangle ourselves from these ingrained stereotypes.
ReplyDeletePeople can't do anything to help you when you are in pain or immobile, so if they offer to help you with other things, try and let them, it's their way of supporting you and showing you they care.
You have to start letting people help- no man is an island.
xxx
Failure is not the deal. Your pride is. When you choose to accept help, you will be on the road to recovery. Humble yourself, Richard. Believe me. Do it. Talk to me. I am here for you.
ReplyDeleteKate, I appreciate your friendship I have no idea how you came back into my life after all these years but I am glad you are here to talk to.
ReplyDelete