I am really having a mental battle with this sale. I know that it is material and that is all. It makes me sad that I was not able to provide as I always thought I could. I don't have the ability to hunker down and make this better. It takes all my effort to take care of me right now and that means not being able to take care of my property that my wife so loves. I know that she does not see me as a failure, but I do.
I think often about pushing my boundaries and see how much i can get out of the body with Lupus I might try and start pushing through the fatigue and pain and see who is on the other side, maybe the hurt will be no different, i tend to lean towards the higher tolerance threshold
Stay tuned....
Pushing makes it worse. Accepting makes it better. It sucks. It SO sucks.
ReplyDelete